For Better or For Worse

   No vote Dr. Richard B. Miller the Director of the School and Family Life at Brigham Young University illustrates some issues regarding power that start at the root of a lot of family problems. I am going to talk about a few. I love the hierarchy of a family. Parents, as a unit of husband and wife, combine their efforts as the leaders of the home. Dr. Richard B. Miller said, “As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership.” I love this teaching because I think that this is a teaching that is sort of becoming unpopular. I have heard, from my peers, countless times when their children are called their little boyfriend or little girlfriend. I have seen my friends let their children do whatever they want because they are scared of the consequences of parenting. I have a close relative that is having this problem now with her 2...

Sometimes in Mormon culture a taboo is cast over anything and everything that has to do with sexual relations. For me, this is a shame. Of course, I know that there a hard and fast rules and boundaries when it comes to sexual relations but those are in place because sex is more than just two people having a good time. Sex is an act governed by God so that we, as his children, can bring more children to this earth. It is a powerful act that not only brings children to this earth but it also brings married couples together in love and in unity. I feel like this is the first thing that must be understood. Once we understand the purpose of sexual relations we begin to understand its sacred and holy nature in our lives. The world has decided that sex is a game to be won or a title to be worn. The world has diluted the powerful, godly act into nothing more than “fun.” This fun is temporary happiness or euphoria that dies within days, hours, minutes or even moments af...

THE MARRIAGE POOP DETECTOR I’ve always thought that I’ve held my husband to a standard that was too high and unrealistic. I’ll be honest, I feel bad about it and consistently feel like I should lower them so I’m not let down. However, my husband always loves when I share my expectations with him so that he can better help me and our family the way that I feel is necessary. I was baffled when I had this realization. Now, we share our expectations with each other in almost every part of marriage and overall lives. This has really been a game changer for us and we both feel like we have a happier and more fulfilled relationship. Dr. John Gottman says, “People with higher expectations of marriage had the highest quality of marriage.” Gottman gives this a detector; it’s called the marriage poop detector. The theory is this, does something smell like poop or in other words, is something wrong? If something seems wrong, if it seems like there is poop, figure out wha...

0    No vote In marriage you hurt, apologize and forgive. Dr. John Gottman says that most conflicts in marriage are perpetual. The dictionary defines perpetual as, “continuing or enduring forever; everlasting.” Let me tell you, in my short two years as a married woman, I already feel like some of our biggest conflicts are perpetual. I honestly feel like we’re in one eternal round with them. The only word to describe it is frustrating. Sometimes it feels like taking two steps forward and one step back. Now, I’ve described a scenario that seems super dramatic and like my husband and I have serious problems. We don’t. But we do have perpetual conflict and if every couple takes a second and evaluates their marriage I believe that they will see that our marriages are similar and that Dr. Gottman is right. Maybe this is sounding like a serious buzz kill but the best part about knowing this is knowing that it can be stopped by two powerful things, change and forg...

PRIDE Pride. Pride is the thief of my joy. President Ezra Taft Benson of the LDS church said, “Pride is essentially competitive in nature.” I have seen pride destroy people, homes and marriages. It truly is, as President Benson said, competitive. Unfortunately, I have seen pride destroy a marriage of a close family friend. As I have watched and tried to support this marriage from a small distance I have been amazed at the competitive nature of the two people. They have both let pride into their hearts so much so that their marriage has reached a competitive place, however, instead of competing together for a common goal, they are competing against each other in all aspects of life. Instead of supporting her husband with his new business he told him he would fail and that he would look stupid and that he would never be successful. She was so concerned that he would fail or that it would make them look bad that she tore him down. In that same breath she was trying to start her o...