Fidelity and Infidelity

Sometimes in Mormon culture a taboo is cast over anything and everything that has to do with sexual relations. For me, this is a shame. Of course, I know that there a hard and fast rules and boundaries when it comes to sexual relations but those are in place because sex is more than just two people having a good time. Sex is an act governed by God so that we, as his children, can bring more children to this earth. It is a powerful act that not only brings children to this earth but it also brings married couples together in love and in unity. I feel like this is the first thing that must be understood. Once we understand the purpose of sexual relations we begin to understand its sacred and holy nature in our lives.

The world has decided that sex is a game to be won or a title to be worn. The world has diluted the powerful, godly act into nothing more than “fun.” This fun is temporary happiness or euphoria that dies within days, hours, minutes or even moments after the deed is done. However, sexual relations with someone that you have committed to, who is your rock, who is your person, doesn’t not fleet away, unless, we let it.

It is our choice to be faithful and it is our choice to be unfaithful. The crazy thing that I think needs to be shared is that fidelity in marriage means so much more than only have sex with your spouse and no one else. Fidelity means you only have eyes for your spouse. You only have thoughts for your spouse. You only have dreams for and with your spouse. Your spouse is your life, warts and all. Even when there are moments where your relationships seem innocent, make sure you only have a heart for your spouse no matter how harmless you think that it is. Infidelity is an ugly thing that can rear its head in the most “innocent” of circumstances.

I watched while one of my friends from high school progressively fell more and more in love with her boy. She loved him so much and he seemed to be smitten with her also. Their relationship progressed from dating to seriously dating rather quickly but they both felt it was right. Before we all knew it they were engaged. We were overjoyed for them. They were in love, compatible, excited and completely devoted to each other. Or so we thought. The wedding day came and went and everything was wonderful. However, days into their new marriage and on their romantic honeymoon my friend noticed something weird. He husband was texting someone. He wasn’t texting a lot but occasionally he would text someone. This was so odd for her because she couldn’t fathom who he would be texting. She thought it was one of his friends or something but by the third day she couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask. He sheepishly replied saying that he wasn’t sure he was over his ex girlfriend and he had been texting her. It was harmless though. “Harmless.” She was devastated. Her whole world came crashing down. Nothing had “happened.” He kept reassuring her. Actually, something had happened. He was being unfaithful to her and it was only three days into their marriage.

Dr. Goddard says that there is a progression of unfaithfulness and the very first thing in that progression is behaviors that seem innocent. From there an affection grows and then even some flirting that isn’t meant to be harmful. Well, it is.

Fidelity is more than just having sex with your spouse only. Fidelity is emotional, physical, spiritual and physiological. Love your spouse and love them hard. They are yours and you are theirs. Do not let distractions get in the way of your eternal happiness and your holy and unifying bond that is marriage.

I know that my husband is faithful to me. I have zero doubts about that. I know that I am faithful to my husband. We know that people our age are falling into traps of infidelity but we will not be those people and you should also vow not to be that person even if everything seems innocent.