For Better or For Worse

Marriage gives a sense of meaning. Every marriage has highs and every marriage has lows. Every partner makes mistakes but not every partner regrets it or apologizes for those mistakes. Dr. John Gottman said that the strongest marriages are built on partners that both have a sense of meaning. This means that the couple supports each others aspirations. This means that the two people in the marriage are friends. Perhaps they are even best friends. Dr. John Gottman illustrates some common myths that are supposedly the causes of failed marriages. A couple of these myths stuck out to me. In my marriage I thought that reciprocity was a great thing. I thought that it was expected. I thought it was needed for relationship to succeed. It wasn’t until my eyes were opened, and Dr. Gottman debunked the myth, that I realized that reciprocity is not such a great thing after all. Reciprocity is actually keeping tabs on things. If the individuals in a marriage are happy they should just s...

In every wedding ceremony we see play out in Hollywood blockbusters or on the Hallmark channel the vows ring out as “’til death do we part” or “as long as we both shall live.” These iconic words manifest a timeless tradition of marital vows and finite marriages. These words that are iconic and happy ring out in my ears as sad. When I hear the finite words uttered, in a wonderfully happy moment between two people who love and care for each other deeply, I am sad. I am sad because for most people this life is it. This life is the time we get to be with the person that we love. This life and our civil marriages are it, the pinnacle, the best union our world has to offer. However, as previously discussed, divorce is more common than not with these civil unions. Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy said, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away.” We have seen this in our society. These marriages that are finite and built with...

            I AM A DEFENDER OF MARRIAGE             When I was a girl, I used to adorn myself in plastic jewels and wrap myself in shiny white fabric in preparation to walk down the aisle to my prince charming. That was my fantasy. That was my perfectly happy ending. However, for some, their perfectly happy ending doesn’t look quite the same. For some, a person of the same gender is waiting for them at the end of the aisle.             I personally cannot relate. I don’t know the struggle that it is to be attracted to people of my same gender. I can’t imagine that it is easy. My heart breaks for them, not because I think they are sick or unwell but because it must be a constant battle, especially for members of the church. It is hard to ask someone to go against something they believe and feel whole-heartedly. It’s hard to ask someone to suppr...

Marriage.  An amazing union of two people who love each other so much they decide to make it a forever deal.  For generations marriage has held our society together like glue. It offers a place of refuge. A place to procreate. A place to be home. So what happened?   Divorce. The ominous word that has gone from social taboo to social 'I do.' Today, 53% of marriages in the United States end in the big D-word, divorce. No one is immune. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am not immune. I have multiple friends from high school and my old neighborhoods that have also divorced. They divorced within the first few years of marriage, some even within the first few months. It breaks my heart. While some of the couples didn't have children, a good portion of them have young children thrown into the mix. Divorce is crippling our basic and fundamental unit of society, marriage.  ...