The D Word
Marriage.
An amazing union of two people who love each other so much they decide to make it a forever deal.
For generations marriage has held our society together like glue. It offers a place of refuge. A place to procreate. A place to be home. So what happened?
Divorce.
The ominous word that has gone from social taboo to social 'I do.' Today, 53% of marriages in the United States end in the big D-word, divorce. No one is immune. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am not immune. I have multiple friends from high school and my old neighborhoods that have also divorced. They divorced within the first few years of marriage, some even within the first few months. It breaks my heart. While some of the couples didn't have children, a good portion of them have young children thrown into the mix. Divorce is crippling our basic and fundamental unit of society, marriage.
For generations marriage has held our society together like glue. It offers a place of refuge. A place to procreate. A place to be home. So what happened?
Divorce.
The ominous word that has gone from social taboo to social 'I do.' Today, 53% of marriages in the United States end in the big D-word, divorce. No one is immune. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am not immune. I have multiple friends from high school and my old neighborhoods that have also divorced. They divorced within the first few years of marriage, some even within the first few months. It breaks my heart. While some of the couples didn't have children, a good portion of them have young children thrown into the mix. Divorce is crippling our basic and fundamental unit of society, marriage.
I agree with Elder, now President, Oaks when he said that this is a very delicate subject. Of course, it definitely is. I come from a home and a family that was and still is intact. I had parents that were loving and supportive of each other and of us kids. Sure, that didn't make them or us immune to arguments and uncomfortable fights every now and again. However, there was never a point that they got even close to discussing the way out. I consider myself very lucky and full of optimism for my marriage and for my husband and I’s future together. I have a hopeful and bright marriage because I saw and now see in my marriage that even through the arguments and fights our only goal and option is to come together at the end of the day.
However, it would be naive of me to think that is the case for everyone. I know I was lucky to have parents who chose to stick together in everything. I know that today, that seems like the anomaly. And as unfortunate and as, in some cases, relieving as divorce can be there will always be negative consequences. There will be negative consequences on society and negative consequences on kids.
The effects of divorce spread so much further than just the couple. Children are greatly affected. Children think they are the reason their parents "fell out of love" or "hate each other." I feel that because divorce is so common that people think that it isn't a big deal. When in reality, an article entitled, State of Our Unions illustrated, failing marriages are not only breaking up a fundamental society institution but also breaking up the overall functionality of our society as a whole. I feel like as a society we are failing our children. We are depriving them of wholesome, safe, and nurturing homes that they can excel in and grow to become contributing members of society. It makes me so sad.
I cannot pretend to know every situation or have an overarching answer to every situation. However, I think that our society has made divorce okay. It has made it a viable option and one that almost seems inevitable. It seems like having a relationship that lasts and expecting a relationship to last is far from the norm. When did this happen? When did signing a prenup or having a "starter marriage" as Elder Oaks put it, become the norm?
The system has provided an easy escape route that is has been and is being abused and I believe we are letting our children down as a society. We need to become a "transitional character" society for our posterity. For our children.
There is hope. There is a choice. I know that divorce is inevitable and even necessary in some cases, however, is it really necessary in 53% of marriages. Why are we giving up so easily? Let's carry on for the sake of our lives. Let's carry on for the sake of our families. Let's carry on for the sake of our posterity. After all, doesn’t a marriage that is imperfect outweigh a life of solitude and selfishness?
I agree with Elder, now President, Oaks when he said that this is a very delicate subject. Of course, it definitely is. I come from a home and a family that was and still is intact. I had parents that were loving and supportive of each other and of us kids. Sure, that didn't make them or us immune to arguments and uncomfortable fights every now and again. However, there was never a point that they got even close to discussing the way out. I consider myself very lucky and full of optimism for my marriage and for my husband and I’s future together. I have a hopeful and bright marriage because I saw and now see in my marriage that even through the arguments and fights our only goal and option is to come together at the end of the day.
However, it would be naive of me to think that is the case for everyone. I know I was lucky to have parents who chose to stick together in everything. I know that today, that seems like the anomaly. And as unfortunate and as, in some cases, relieving as divorce can be there will always be negative consequences. There will be negative consequences on society and negative consequences on kids.
The effects of divorce spread so much further than just the couple. Children are greatly affected. Children think they are the reason their parents "fell out of love" or "hate each other." I feel that because divorce is so common that people think that it isn't a big deal. When in reality, an article entitled, State of Our Unions illustrated, failing marriages are not only breaking up a fundamental society institution but also breaking up the overall functionality of our society as a whole. I feel like as a society we are failing our children. We are depriving them of wholesome, safe, and nurturing homes that they can excel in and grow to become contributing members of society. It makes me so sad.
I think that there are valid reasons to getting a divorce and there are many valid reasons not to.
I cannot pretend to know every situation or have an overarching answer to every situation. However, I think that our society has made divorce okay. It has made it a viable option and one that almost seems inevitable. It seems like having a relationship that lasts and expecting a relationship to last is far from the norm. When did this happen? When did signing a prenup or having a "starter marriage" as Elder Oaks put it, become the norm?
The system has provided an easy escape route that is has been and is being abused and I believe we are letting our children down as a society. We need to become a "transitional character" society for our posterity. For our children.
There is hope. There is a choice. I know that divorce is inevitable and even necessary in some cases, however, is it really necessary in 53% of marriages. Why are we giving up so easily? Let's carry on for the sake of our lives. Let's carry on for the sake of our families. Let's carry on for the sake of our posterity. After all, doesn’t a marriage that is imperfect outweigh a life of solitude and selfishness?
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