Until Death Do We Part... Or Not...

In every wedding ceremony we see play out in Hollywood blockbusters or on the Hallmark channel the vows ring out as “’til death do we part” or “as long as we both shall live.” These iconic words manifest a timeless tradition of marital vows and finite marriages. These words that are iconic and happy ring out in my ears as sad. When I hear the finite words uttered, in a wonderfully happy moment between two people who love and care for each other deeply, I am sad. I am sad because for most people this life is it. This life is the time we get to be with the person that we love. This life and our civil marriages are it, the pinnacle, the best union our world has to offer.

However, as previously discussed, divorce is more common than not with these civil unions. Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy said, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away.” We have seen this in our society. These marriages that are finite and built with an escape clause are becoming exactly that, easy outs. Marriage is tough but marriage is so much more than a civil promise in front of the state, family and friends. Elder Hafen said, “Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. “ Marriage is a covenant. Marriage is a covenant with God and with your spouse.

Covenant marriages are so much more than a contract marriage built with pre nuptials and doubts. I remember vividly, as a girl, sitting in the congregation right next to the aisle lined with white fabric and adorned with rose pedals. I thought I was in Heaven. My neighbor was getting married and the wooden vaulted ceilings dripped with flowers and greenery. I really believed that magic existed and today I got to see it. I remember staring down the aisle as I saw a grey haired man in a nicely tailored tuxedo standing next to the most beautiful, picturesque, white dress that sparkled under the twinkly lights. She glided down the aisle like a princess and I was in love with the idea of marriage. She cried as her husband told her how much he loved her and then they were pronounced husband and wife as long as they both shall live. It was magic. It was everything. BUT, it really wasn’t. All of the glitz and the glam really didn’t mean a thing when they were pronounced husband and wife as long as they both shall live. That, to me, negates every last beautiful detail of the wedding because the marriage was a contract, not a covenant.

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said that today, “the sanctity of marriage is attacked and the importance of the home is undermined.” Marriage is much more than a contract made to be broken. Marriage is a gift given to us by our Father in Heaven. It is a holy union. It is a union that was given in order to create a union to last forever. Elder Bednar also said, “As we look beyond mortality and into eternity, it is easy to discern that the counterfeit alternatives the adversary advocates can never lead to the completeness that is made possible through the sealing together of a man and a woman, to the happiness of righteous marriage, to the joy of posterity, or to the blessing of eternal progression.”

It is clear. The difference is finite versus infinite. The difference is temporary happiness or eternal progression. The difference is clear when you see the gift and power that marriage is through the gift and power of God.

As I reflect on that experience of seeing my neighbor walk down her finite aisle, I remember my experience kneeling at an infinite alter with my husband. It was in the temple, a place of purity and not glitzy. I was wearing a simple white dress and my husband was also dressed in white. Our closest family and friends surrounded us and we had each other and God. I will always remember that day with joy knowing that I decided to enter into a covenant with the love of my life and with my God. That is what a covenant marriage can provide, happiness forever.

I believe that I will be happy forever. I believe that I can have that because of my covenant marriage that will last for time and all eternity.